he should be assigned an extra aide or two
to help him carry around his huge stainless steel balls
.
...your one stop shop for mockery...
if you squint your eyes and tilt your head and smoke some dope, this is Santa and his reindeer after crashing into a big red tree and there's a giant blue slinky too. one of the reindeer has been decapitated and his head is on fire. and also Santa has a stiffy. plus these are the lyrics to my new Christmas song. and I'm not kiddin'. plus I can't photograph Christmas lights for shit nor shinola. trust me, when seen from the highway these lights look like a fabulous mess. 6 out of 10 passersby are heard to remark, is that idiot drinkin' again?
and for Easter they can do a Crucifixmas tree, or maybe a bunny nailed to a cross. New Years Eve toasts can be made with a glass of water and a prayer. 4th of July would be great for burning crosses, unless the Klan has some sort of trademark rights. Halloween is perfect for blood of Christ candy, trick and turn the other cheek. of course loaves and fishes for Thanksgiving. Valentine's Day is a toughie, maybe something with Cupid's arrows and stigmata. Arbor Day is a nobrainer ...

oh noes, look what hell the sketch artists have unleashed